Sonntag, 10. Januar 2010
Week 24 (6 weeks to go)
It has been a while since I was posting my last entry on my blog.
The reason I was not writing anymore is simply that my trip to the USA gets closer every day and I can almost count the hours until my flight will leave from Frankfurt to my favourite country. There are so many things to do right now. It starts with practising posing even harder from now on, making appointments for the photo shoots and making the final bookings for hotels, rental cars and flights. All this needs to be planned as perfect as possible, so it will not negatively influence my diet routine when I am finally there. If you fail to plan ahead, it will cause a lot of extra-stress and this would be the worst nightmare for the last days.
Nonetheless everything is going better than expected. I dropped a little bit of weight in the last weeks and so I am staying around 260 lbs by now. I believe this happened by switching from chicken to fish as my main protein source.
I realize that my energy levels are really low. After my morning cardio and posing session I first of all need at least 1.5 hours of sleep before I can really start into my day. I am getting tired really fast but the same time I cannot sleep in the nights. At some days I am even a bit afraid of the night, by knowing that I won’t sleep well for sure. Those are the worst nights. Staying in bed hungry, unable to sleep and fighting against the doubts in your mind.
This is a major fight which has started now as well. The battle of yourself against your mind. When looking at yourself in the mirror the mind will give you a wrong picture of your progress. You don’t see how your shape gets better and you just see that you are getting smaller when loosing the weight. Still you have to go your way, to keep your diet and to continue with what you were doing. Otherwise you won’t be looking good on stage.
It is just about 6 weeks until my Pro debut now. The moment I was fighting for since more than 2 years. It feels unreal to be close to this point and at the same time I already feel like a winner. I have to push my limits for only a few days more. At this point of the diet it is all about your mental strength. Your body is already exhausted. You cannot expect it to reach perfection if there is not a strong force from behind. This force can be only created by your thoughts and goals. You must be driven to do this by your very own skills of staying focused and motivated. Nobody will go this way for you. Every great success demands sacrifice before. I already demanded total dedication from myself for over two years now and I got it in my own hands to create a satisfying result or to disappoint not only my friends, family and fans but most of all ME !!!
Failure is not an option and in the next few weeks I have the chance to achieve something extraordinary. Something I can be proud of forever.